The Wolf Connection

 

Coincidences mean you’re on the right path.

― Simon Van Booy, Love Begins in Winter: Five Stories

 

1/6/2016- Coincidence?

So these coincidences just keep right on coming. I saw a post today from one of my witch groups of a wolf. It reminded me of a summer I spent in Florida with my brother and his wife. I discovered a connection to wolves, Timber Wolves, although to this day there’s no logical reason for it. Apparently, on a recent trip to that same town, our mother vehemently denied the trip!  It was such a great summer for me, one of those summer’s where nothing happens but everything changes- those coming-of-age summers. I was lucky enough to have two of those. The fact that my mother denies it ever happened speaks volumes about her.

 Was she subconsciously attempting to sabotage my personal growth?  Maybe that is why I had two summers and not just one. It speaks of her capacity to, in her mind, change events as they actually happened.

It speaks of her devious ways- I’ve always believed the reason I came back home that summer was because she knew she would miss me too much, however, instead of just admitting that fact, she decided not to hold up her end of the deal financially. Or maybe she just didn’t want to fork over the money. Perhaps a part of her knew how much I might grow living with my brother and his wife and her family. I grew so much during that short time and her denying that summer also denies that growth- also not a coincidence.

Funny, but as I was writing this, I remember that my SIL said that we were in St. Augustine, Florida. I currently reside on San Augustine way, and get this, I call my husband Augie, a pet name based off a name his father once wanted to name him. I wonder what, if anything, that means?

Ralph Smart is the name of the fellow who inspired me the other day and continues to do so. I’ve watched several of his videos so far  and ideas are bubbling. Ideas about my own websites and videos. Or something. It’s still not clear, but I know I should continue on this path and see where it leads me. I’m apprehensive and excited!

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Mental Quietude

Whatever you do or dream you can do – begin it. Boldness has genius and power and magic in it. –Johann Wolfgang von Goethe

 

1/5/2016 – The Journey Begins

So yesterday, although I completed every FitBit goal on my dashboard, I did not do any writing or work! I did manage to do some meditation but my mind- well I guess I got a few moments of mental quietude, if that’s even a word, but there is still so much fear.  

I have the amazing ability to turn even the most positive thing into a scary disaster complete with the deaths of those closest to me… and my own survival, of course, so that I can can be sure and fully experience the pain of my loss.

But there was this moment, afterwards, where I felt moved to just lie on the floor, on my side, with my ear to the ground and my hand there as well…

And I spoke… 

                     …to no one in particular…

asking for concrete guidance on where to start this spiritual journey.  I momentarily felt lost and in a state of panicked upheaval.  I felt that if I just focused on what I wanted, visualized what that might look like and kept that image clear, I would find the right pathway to that outcome!  I desire a few things, one of which is to be my best, wisest, truest self… whatever that means?

Anyway, the things I’ve been experiencing lately are telling and possibly important. At least insofar as I am aware of them as being important.  First it was the game of Trouble played with my family.

Now, family games for me as a child have been very emotional and upsetting.  Even then I hated losing and I am pretty certain that playing Monopoly with older cousins who probably took advantage of my limited math skills didn’t help me in the least.  I have stayed away from board games fearing that these old emotions would be triggered but, when you are a parent, as I am, you often face known triggers.

We played two games and I won both times!  I wasn’t looking to win, only have fun with my whole family.  Winning just wasn’t important!  In fact, the second time around, I felt certain I was losing, but yet I won!  I trusted!  I trusted in this small, insignificant way that what should be, would be, and I knew that at that moment the lesson was meant for my son, who was experiencing what looked like my former frustrations with losing.

And this morning, after last nights events, I discovered a man who seems to have posted several videos on many subjects I believe might be helpful to me this year!  Not a coincidence I am positive!  So, after only a few days of conscious effort to relax my body, calm my emotions, and truly practice love & peace ( there have been some missteps there but I must be patient and gentle even with myself) as well as incorporating healthy living habits into my everyday life, I am beginning to attract!

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Resolutions for 2016

   Begin today. Declare out loud to the universe that you are willing to let go of struggle and eager to learn through joy. –Sarah Ban Breathnach

 

My primary concern as I enter the new year is this terrible feeling I’ve been carrying.  Probably stems from this forced vaccination law.

                   As far as I can see no good will come of it.

But really the problem is how much it has affected me. Like any negative thing it keeps me up at night with worry. 😓 I need to explore the idea of an energy cleansing- keep exposure to negative energy low, focus on gratitude, and cultivate positive energy.

                🌾 Like a garden! 🌾

Even the movies I watch- which I plan on cutting way back- should be inspirational!  I want to fill my soul with gratitude, love, and light.

                   I want my language to change! 

   I think of my friend Ava, and possibly the teachings of Hinduism as inspiration for where or how to start this trek. I want to explore astral projection and be able to do it whenever I please. I want to explore the sensual side of astral projection because I think it may be something like those dreams I keep having. 

   I want to make money from home online and also build that calendar website which I think may be the first step toward my artists retreat.  I want to exercise everyday and get down to (and stay at) 20% body fat. I want to permanently reduce processed foods and sugar and just 

                    slow 

                         down!

   The woman I am looking to create is filled with bliss and love, is trim, fit, and healthy, has vibrant energy and has reconnected with that creative force I used to dwell in so long ago.

   I want to write everyday!

   Our family’s money worries have been eliminated due to several successful websites I run averaging $5,000 per month.

   I think if I think of these goals as things I want to work up to, a sort of slow progression or journey, perhaps a daily challenge wherein everyday I must touch upon each of these things in different degrees, I could very well see some positive results and gains!

A Pathway Leading to Magic and Enlightenment!

   My soul really needs to take a break from the ugliness of the world- it’s becoming increasingly easy to find. I want to find magic. I want to wake up in a land of beauty and surround myself with positivity and bliss!  

I think I can,

                    I think I can, 

                                         I think I can… 🚂

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